so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
