another moral hangover. fuck.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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