He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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