I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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