I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
this hospital has no fireball
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
