it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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