Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
