Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize