ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
