there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize