If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
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