According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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