In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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