Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
