Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
