how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
