i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
