He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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