I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
