Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize