I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
