Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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