Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
