i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize