Grow some girl-balls and come out already
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
there was a trapeze. enough said
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
