im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize
