this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
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