i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize