You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
