We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
