Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
