I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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