There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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