Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
