Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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