it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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