I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
