why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
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