is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
