i need an iv and a liver transplant
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize