i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
