The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
