Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
