i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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