Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
