Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
