I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
i think my cat just said my name.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize