Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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