Kiss
Puke
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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