i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
