why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
