so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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