the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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