It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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