I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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