So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize