OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
