Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
