it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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