I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
this just has baby written all over it
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
