My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
