I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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