Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize