Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
