So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
