I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
