Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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