This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
