Sry I called you an 8
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
