Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
