Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
