Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
